forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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