I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
