You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
