so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize