I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
