there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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