I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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