that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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