I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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