So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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