So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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