Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can't special order awesome
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
