all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
