he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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