My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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