i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
