I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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