in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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