kristin has been a bad kristin
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
