Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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