as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize