Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
