I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize