ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
