I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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