Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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