D3 body, D1 cock
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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