Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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