Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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