Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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