You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
