That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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