the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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