Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
