the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
