you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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