I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Drunk is not a location!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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