i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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