Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
