Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
tell me about the fingering
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