ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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