Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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