sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Your cock deserves a montage
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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