Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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