Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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