You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
