Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
too bad you live with your parents still
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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