you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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