and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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