Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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