I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
