honey bunches of taint.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
