I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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