Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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