I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
only you would photoshop your dick
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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