The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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