heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
